15 signs that you're obsessed with BJJ

If you can say yes to 5 or more: you're a little bit obsessed. If you can say yes to 8 or more: you have a bit of a problem. If you can say yes to 10 or more: You may need addiction counselling.

If you can say yes to all: Call a priest because you have been possessed by Helio Gracie 

(1) You constantly find yourself thinking about your last roll and how you could have dominated if only you had...

(2) You accept that blokes genitals in the vicinity of your mouth is just one of those things.

(3) You turn over in bed at night by posting your foot and sliding your hips to turn instead of just rolling over.

(4) You catch yourself attempting to pass your girlfriend’s guard or applying sneaky submissions.

(5) You carry an extra Gi in the boot of the car... Just in case!

(6) You think up excuses so you need to 'pop out' for a few hours or have to 'work late' to get an other session in..

(7) You start teaching your baby the mount, the side mount, and the guard.

(8) Your Gi has more patches on it than the local boy scout group.

(9) You look at a what other guys are wearing and think how you can execute a collar choke.

(10) When you hug somebody, you ALWAYS establish underhooks. 

(11) You don't watch TV, you just watch BJJ Videos.

(12) Your washing machine is on 24/7... washing Gi's.

(13) Every joint is sore, every day, all year.

(14) When someone greets you with a handshake, you want to go for the armdrag and take their back.

(15) Finally, when you watch any action movie involving a choke you tut and shake your head because they're doing it wrong. 

7 reasons why women should go out with a guy who trains in BJJ

1. They're super fit AND ripped.

BJJ is a sport that uses all your muscles, including some you have never even heard of and thats not to mention the cardio intensity that is also involved. BJJ practitioners train a lot to be the best and that also requires eating the right foods. They are always conscious of their weight because in competition they must choose a weight category and no BJJ competitor wants to compete out of their weight class, therefore carrying any excess weight is out of the question!


2. They're very intelligent.

Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is essentially human chess. You need to be able to think and fight at the same time, and this is no easy achievement. You need to be able to lay traps and also predict what your opponent is doing, all whilst trying to not get choked out!


3. They're committed and loyal.

To succeed in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu takes a long time. We are not talking about a 2 year route to black belt like in some martial arts... we are talking about 10 years on average. If you are lucky enough to meet a BJJ black belt, you are in the presence of a person that has utter dedication and commitment, something that most women really like.

4. They're extremely flexible.

Trust us on this, BJJ practitioners would give a gymnast a run for their money,

5. They're comfortable with their sexuality.

Lets face it, you are grappling with another bloke which means that you are in very close contact with them. If you compete in No Gi, you may have to compete with a guy who goes topless. There is no place for homophobia in BJJ and you will very often end up with your head in very close proximity to your opponents meat and 2 veg. 


6. They're tough as nails. 

You see gym rats with muscles popping out and they look intimidating but your average BJJ practitioner is the real alpha male. They have super core strength, dexterity and are ice cool in conflict situations. You won't find a Jiu Jitsu practitioner acting tough or trying to be dominant, they are low key, understated and confident. The reason is simple, they have nothing to prove, they do it week in and week out on the mat but don't let this quiet assurance fool you... you mess with them or their partners/ friends and you are in a world of pain. 

And finally.... 7. Ed O'Neill.

The man is a legend. No other reason necessary!